I made a pumpkin pie today. It was a little too cinnamon-y.

I feel like an alien. Awkward, out of place, the temperature doesn't match the season, alienated (for lack of a better term) from a few of the people around me - I don't have a lot of delay in saying what's on my mind lately - and just all around not fitting. Funny, because of everything I just posted about and read the other day - it's all true, still - what I want to type right now is that I feel like a square peg. Every time I feel great, I want to not be on medication, so I start taking it every other day, and I'm fine for a while, and then my world collapses. What the fuck? I mean, really. This is twice now. Somebody remind me next time, okay?

Oh, and my back hurts. Because during the week I work my balls off. It's a means to an end, and I see my paycheck (about $400.00 net for 55 hours) and I forget that. I mean, five shifts is another $100 at least weekly, but still, it's less money than I've made in a long, long time.

I'm looking up classes online - I know I can't just jack up a bunch of electives, but I want to take photography (this semester it's Monday & Wednesday nights) and Basic Baking (Tuesday nights) but something is telling me I should do one elective and one core class. I can always take photography in the summer when work is slow and I'll have more time to dick around with it. So, baking on Tuesdays? Why not.

Okay, so I just searched some more and I have to figure out which electives are which - what the fuck is quantitative literacy? What's a social science elective? I need help.

Yeah, so, my head is melting a little bit. And on top of that, I found two legal-size file boxes of my sordid youth in my mom's basement yesterday. More to follow on that one.

I guess I should sleep now.